Learning to be Assertive and Authentic
People who are confident and have healthy self-esteem are natural and authentic. They are true to themselves, and incredibly self-aware and self-possessed. As a result, they live happier and more fulfilled lives. They play their own game and dance to their own tune. They have the freedom to be natural and to trust in themselves, guided by their own sound judgements and intuitions. Their speech and actions are naturally free-flowing and self-assured.
They are essentially straight talkers and sincere, putting their true feelings and intuitions into words. They express their emotions, and are naturally articulate because nothing is holding them back: they are open and frank. They tell people how they feel about things and share their emotions with others; in so doing, they feel more authentic and engaged in life all the time.
Some people find all this comes naturally, but for most of us, it is not innate; it needs to be learned, and can be learned.
“I grew up kind of always thinking that things are my fault. I couldn’t help it. It was really a problem because at 24 years old I still hadn’t gone out on a real date and had never had a girlfriend. I couldn’t talk to them. Anyway, reading the Salter stuff was amazing, and practicing with Deborah was a lot of fun but felt really good too. I have made so much progress. And I have had two dates now with a girl I really like. I feel so much happier and more confident.”
– Georges V.
However, there are temporary setbacks in life that can be a serious blow to your self-confidence, or unusual circumstances that challenge an otherwise assertive, confident individual. This is also when assertiveness training tailored to individual needs can be a precious help.
Treatment based on Conditioned Reflex Therapy
Learning how to be more assertive and authentic can be a great relief. The treatment plan is based on Conditioned Reflex Therapy consists of:
- Completing a daily rating of emotional expressiveness to measure and guide progress
- Conditioning with “emotional exercises” (learning to use “feeling-talk” instead of “fact-talk”, learning “facial talk”, learning to contradict, more “I talk”, dispensing with mock modesty and living for the next minute)
- Readings and mental rehearsals of increased assertiveness and outward expressiveness
- Training in increased awareness of assertive and inhibited behaviors
- Hypnotherapy to accelerate and reinforce change
Under hypnosis you will learn to remember and focus on your successes and times when you felt confident, as well as learning how to deal with setbacks and blows to your sense of self-confidence. You will also conduct your mental rehearsal of challenging situations so that you will face them in real life armed with true self-mastery.
Treatment takes three to six sessions.